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Ishq h vo ehsaas...Ishq h vo jazbaat
Badal de jo duniya...badal de jo duniya.

Shivanya pov

His eyes were challenging me. He has given me a choice.

He smirked when my eyes didn't look down.

"Good choice " he whispered and stood up from bed to go from there when I held his index finger.

Don't know why I was feeling so desperate to see his wounds. Maybe I wanted to see how badly I hurted him.
He didn't even winced in pain even for a second when those arrows hit him.

I lower my eyes while looking at his chest giving him the answer. Not getting any reply from him, i raised my head to see his jaw was clenched.

"Get out " he said in firm voice.

I shivered noticing anger in his tone. He wasn't looking happy. But i was feeling that if I let him go away from there at that time, maybe I will really never been able to go near him again. He misunderstood , because of me only.

Because I said that I have rituraj in my heart.

"You can't go back on your words. Let me see them " i whispered while fisting his finger "arya..."

As soon he heared it, I saw him taking a deep breath. He inspect my eyes one more time before sitting on the bed.

"Come here " he patted the space in front of him. I looked him confused.

"Do it yourself" he ordered making me looking him surprised "if you want to see, strip me by yourself "

How will I undress him ? My heart pounded in chest. I bite my already wounded lips feeling strange taste in my mouth.

But I can't go back now.

I moved on my knees to sit in front of him. My hands moved towards button of his kurta. As my fingers delicately trace the fabric a sense of closeness washes over me accompained by gentle flutter in my stomach. I was feeling anticipation and timidness when my fingers touched the metal of button.

I opened the first button to see some glimpse of his skin. Suddenly i realized what I was doing. A person's scar is reminder to him of all the deeds that happened in the past.

What if I made him remember something which he doesn't want to ?
What if I hurt him more ?

With each button undone, it feels I was moving towards revealing something which was hidden for so long. I started fumbling on buttons.

There were 4 buttons in total but after 3 buttons I was unable to open the fourth one. He put his hand over my finger while caressing them lightly to stop them shivering.

"Calm down...you are just touching your arya" he whispered making me feel more timid. I lowered my eyes to hide my nervousness. He helped me to open the last button. I held the hem of his kurta while pulling it over his head carefully.

As the fabric parts, revealing glimpse of his skin, I was overcome by rush of emotions.

A gasped left my lips. My heart accelerated looking at the scene in front of me.

His shoulder were broad and powerful which can bear tons of responsibilites withiut getting tired. Each muscle of his arm was sculpted by years of welding weapons, carrying shields and engaging hand to hand combat.

His chest was chisled and firm reflect courage and determination.

But what attracted my attention was those scars. I was expecting 1 or 2 of them but His body has so many scars. It was full of them.

Those scars were crisscross on his body like a painting done on a canvas.

But instead of colour, blood was used.

Some of them were faint, barely visible while other stood out boldly a testament to the trails he had faced in his life.

I gulped a lump in my throat. Even if someone knowingly wanted to hurt someone, even then he can't injured that person so badly as I was looking in front of me.

I didn't even realise when my fingers unknowngly moved to his chest tracing his flesh gently. I can feel him shivering a little.

Did I hurt him ?

I quickly took my hand back but he held my wrist while placing it to the position where I was tracing it.

"I..is it hurting ?" I asked feeling knot in my stomach.

"They are very old. They doesn't hurt anymore " he replied while staring in my eyes.

We were sitting so close that Our knees were touching each other. My fingers were trembling while touching his skin. They were still looking so fresh.

"This scar " i whispered to myself. There were some faint lines on middle of his chest. I was thinking of scenario of how he would have get this. It looks like of sword which has pierced his skin at middle.

"This was the first time when I went for the war " he answered in a low voice. I suddenly looked at him. I wasn't expecting him to answer it.

"How old were you than ?" I asked not able to stop myself from asking.

"12 years old " he replied. I can't be more shocked than this. He was just a kid at that time.

"I get distracted during the war. That day I realize how much a little distraction can cost me " His voice was mixture of proud and sorrow.

"I wasn't even born at that time when you were already in the battlefield " i muttered but could hear him chuckle . I can feel his hand on my head caressing it.

"You are still a bacha..my chota bheem " he whispered in low voice almost to himself but my rabbit ear hear him clearly.

"How many people have seen them ?"

"No one wanted to see them. It's only your stupid brain who thought of this " his voice held fun but I didn't find it funny.

It means no one knows about this. No one has treated his wounds properly that's why they left such deep marks.

I blinked back my tears and urge to jump on his lap and hide there forever away from this world. Looking at his huge body, I am sure I will fit in his lap.

"This one ...I asked brushing my finger on his stomach, on his abs which were so finely built by him. There was a deep cut there which seems like he was hit by something hard.

"In war of naazpur. I was unconscious for 3 months. That bastard had almost killed me. He thought I died and throw me in the river. " He laughed while lost in his thoughts " but it's not easy to kill me. I came back after 3 months and took his kingdom..hahaha...he must be regretting the day he throw me in river "

There was a proud feeling on his face while he was telling this. Despite the brutality of war, his eyes hold different kind of excitement.

There was a jagged mark on his shoulder which was also a momento of a war he fought in battlefield. There was one more on arm, which always remain hidden beneath his kurta sleeves.

How he had fought with just one arm at that time ?

I couldn't even count no. Of scars on his body covering his chest, stomach, waist. They were of different size. Some of them looks that someone has knowingly hurted him.

Why ? Why someone will hurt him so badly ?

I moved towards his back. He held my wrist.

"If you dare to scream, I will throw you out of this room right now " he warned me seriously.

I looked him confused and moved behind him to look at its condition and as a reaction I quickly covered my mouth through my palm to not escape any scream.

Those wounds shows how that arrow penetrated deep beyond the layers of his skin. I can even see his tissues. Three of those wounds were red and purple but forth one was turning black.

It seems someone has poked that bruise with his fingers .

And to make it more worse, because of me it reopened again when I pushed him as It was even releasing blood and puss now.

Apart from those 4 wounds, just like his chest, his back was full of other different type of scars. There were mark of knife, arrows, sword, dagger.

Each scar told a tale of bravery , sacrifice and survival. There wasnt any look of disgust on my face when i was looking them.

Infact it was a reminder that how bravely he have fought so many times and over one challenges which comes in his way.

I knew that he was strong but my admiration of his strength increased many times.

"Fire " he whispered tilting his head when he didn't hear anything from my mouth. I was sitting on my knees behind him.

I quickly hugged him from behind while hiding my face in his shoulder blade and put my both palm over his chest. He was taken a back as I can feel his body get stiff.

Thanks to Mahadev I was wearing simple lehenga and no jewelleries so it doesn't hurt his back.

"Are you scared ?" He asked looking blankly in straight direction "do you want to puke ? It must be disgusting na ? "

I shook my head in no. He turned his head to my side

"A warrior is known by his scars not by medals. How can someone feel disgusted of them and...and..I also contributed in this scars " my voice was on the verge of breaking.

My eyes falls on scar near his chest. I was also one of the person who hurt him. I have also contribution in his wounds.

" this one " i moved my palm near his heart. This was not yet healed properly as it was of deep red colour.

It was the place where he pushed his dagger and took out his blood to fill my hairline "this one is because of me " i whispered. I could feel his heart beat. I could feel heat of skin transferring to mine.

He put his hand over my palm which was on his heart while stroking his thumb slowly.

"This is the only scar which I took willingly and never ever regret ..this one is beautiful"

I held him tightly careful not to hurt his back but my eyes betrayed me. Drop of water one by one keep falling over his hand.

Those scars can never scare me but I can only feel awe and admiration. His muscular body was not just a symbol of physical prowess but reflection of his indomitable spirit that drives him to stand against all the adversities and achieved victory again and again.

"Bacha.." he whispered noticing drops of water falling uncontrollably. I break into sobs while moving my face in his neck. I could feel his heart beat getting faster.

He quickly tried to turn but I held him more tightly not wanted him to see me like this and try to control noise of my crying but my eyes weren't ready.

"Fire..look at me..bacha..."I can feel his desperation as he was trying to push me so he can turn back but my hold on him get more tighten.

"And everyone said that you don't feel any pain...just because someone can bear the pain it doesn't mean he is not feeling it. Your body is also made up of flesh and bones. How could you let someone insert his finger in your wounds. Just because I told you not to go ! " My heart was welled up. I couldn't control myself.

"Who told you about this ?" He asked in anger.

"It doesn't matter arya..why did you do this ?" I shouted. My voice muffled in his skin. How could you control yourself after looking at the condition of person whom you have fallen in lov......

My brain freezed for some seconds. My whole body shivered realizing what I was going to say. My cries turned even more louder.

This is the reason I came here running finding him.

This is the reason I couldn't see hate in his eyes.

"Look at me now " he ordered but I shook my head. If I see him at that moment I won't be able to say what I was going to say now.

(Raana sa ..Humne kuch kehna h aapse )

"Raana sa , I want to say something to you " i whispered and took a deep breath. His neck and shoulder were completely wet because of my tears.

(Hume...hume aapse..)

"I...I have " I was going to open my mouth when He put his finger on my lips. There were blank expressions on his face.

His eyesbrows were furrowed in anger while looking at my hand. I can see veins of his other hand when he hold my hand tightly. He was controlling his anger.

( Sirf kuch ghaav dekhke AAP Aisa mehsus kar ri h..thodi bhavuk ho gyi h..iske alawa or kuch nahi..jaldbaazi m kuch aisa mat boliye jise leke baad m pachtava ho..kyunki iske jawab ki na humse koi umeed rakhiyega na hi khawaish )

"Just because you have seen these wounds, thats why you are feeling emotional. Except it, there is nothing. In hurry, don't say anything, after which you will feel regret. Don't expect any answer or keep hope from my side for it " he said seriously.

I couldn't control my smile in between my tears. He knows what I was going to say and he hates it. I can see it. I can feel it.

I was not feeling it out of any guilt or because I was emotional because than I would not have been feeling this much pain as I am feeling now.

Maybe he would never feel as I was feeling but it's not in my control now. I came close to his ear. I don't want even walls to hear what I was going to say now.

(Humne kahi padha tha...or tab se ye baat humare jehen m reh gyi h...

Pyaar ho jaata h...
mohabbat ki jaati h
or
Ishq

Ishq naseeb se...ye ek fitoor h...ise na paa sakte h na cheen sakte h...keval takdeerwaalo ko naseeb hota h ye

Humne ab sab apne naseeb p chhod Diya h arya...)

"I have read something, from that day this line has been engraved in my heart..

We fall in love by on our own..
We like someone by our choice
But
Passion/obsession (Ishq)

We get Ishq only if it's written in our destiny. We can't force it nor snatch it from someone,only person who are destined to have it, will get it.

I have left my everything in hands of destiny now "

(The above dialogue ☝️of ishq is not my original dialogue. I have listened it somewhere in a drama or reel ♥️ and it stuck in my heart. So ,mentioned it here. Those dialogues which are not mine I will mention it. So, credit goes to its respective owner. I will take credit for my original dialogues only. )

(Although, love, ishq, mohabbat, passion, all have same meaning, but the only difference is in the situation, in which you used these words. When you love someone but think that only love word isnt enough to justify your feelings, you try to search for more words like ishq, mohabbat. But when even these words feel short, you used word like fitoor/ obsession. So, it's the situation which gives words a different meaning otherwise all words are same )

I can feel little hair of his ear stand up as soon i mentioned the word fitoor.

It's a mix of Hindi and Urdu word, which I have read somewhere in a book. It refers to an intense and often irrational love, desire or passion for someone. It's more than just love.

I never wanted to have love, I want fitoor. I don't know how it is done or how it feels but from the moment I understood it's meaning , it stayed in my heart somewhere.

I tilted my head a little to look at his side , he was already staring me.

(Jo soch Rahi h uski umeed humse kabhi ni kariyega...)

"Whatever you are thinking, don't expect anything from me " he stated in firm tone.

(Naseeb se to kar sakte h na ?or ghabraiye nahi...humari takdeer itni achi nahi h )

"I can expect from destiny. And don't worry my destiny is not that good " I chuckled lightly remembering my whole life till now.

He put his other hand on mine which was unknowingly caressing his beared.

It was so soft.

Even my hair are not that soft.

Should I steal his soap ?

He was staring me intensely like he has lost somewhere or maybe reading my thoughts. But I won't let him read them this time. I can't force him for anything. But i will make sure to change my destiny this time. You are now my fitoor (passion/obsesssion) arya...

I was leaning on shoulder like a betal(a ghost in kids story of Vikram & betal ).

This is comfortable.

He cupped my cheeks while tracing my dry tears from his thumb. I won't cry in front of him. I sobbed back the tear which was going to fall again.

He pulled me towards him. I couldn't stop him this time the way he grabbed my cheeks. I was going to fall on his lap but stopped. I remembered what he had done during lunch time.

(Ardhangini ki ehsayiat se yaha baithaya tha aapko. Bhojan k samay bhi or abhi bhi )

"At the time of lunch and even now. I told you to sit here because you are my biwi and not something else " he answered the question which was stopping me to sit there.

His biwi.

My heart repeated again.

I don't know how to hold him after looking at his scars. They are all over on his body. I doubt if I touched him anywhere i will hurt him.

He held my both hand while moving them over his shoulder. I could feel his muscles under my palm.

I held his shoulder from both of my hands while bending down to sit on his lap. He settled my leg around his waist. He was sitting cross legged so I have to move my leg around there to sit.

And as soon i have done this i felt a wave of shy erupt in my veins. My core was resting above his.

How can he sit uneffected and so calmly.

He held my chin while tilting my head to look at him. I realised I was staring down shamelessly.

(Hume baaton ko ghum firake karne ki adat nahi h raani sa...)

"I don't like to beat around the bush or sugarcoat my words " He held my jaw possesively making me gulped down my saliva

(Sehen ni karenge humari ardhangini ko kisi or k saath...humare badan m aag ki lapte daudne lagti h...)

"I wont bear to see my BIWI with any other person. I can feel flame of fire burning in my whole body " he throw the firestick in anger. I held him tightly in fear.

There was darkness in the room except the light of firesticks burning outside. Suddenly, I can feel coldness in the room.

There was fire burning in his eyes with undeniable strength behind those words. My breath hitched for some seconds. His voice sound so different to me. He brings my face closer to his. Our forehead touched each other. I can feel him inhaling deeply.

(Hum takdeer ya kisi or chiz p bharosa nahi karte..lekkn ek baat apne hridya m utar lijiyega. Humari ardhangini h aap, Jis din mar gye , us din aap humse purn roop se azaad ho jayengi....par jab tak rishta h...tab tak h..ye na aap tod sakti h..or na kisiko todne denge hum )

"I don't believe in destiny or anything but keep one thing in your heart. You are MY BIWI . The day I died, you will get free from this relation but till I am alive you are tied in it. Neither you can break it nor I will let anyone "

he whispered each and every word clearly in my ear. I can feel his lips tracing outer part of my ear.

My heart skipped a beat. I held his shoulder tightly. Room and his words were doing something to my mind. My tears were stopped the moment he held me in his lap. Now my heart was going out of rhythm.

(Fitoor chahiye h aapko...sehen kar payengi fitoor ? Jaan h aap m itni ? Pata bhi h aapko fitoor hota kya h ?" jaan nikal denge..uski bhi or aapki bhi...jinke liye aapne vo shringar Kiya )

"You want fitoor. Will you be able to bear it ? Do you have that much strength ? Do you even know what it means ? I will kill you and that person for whom you dressed up so much " His voice was making my hair rise up on my skin.

It was like a slow worm which someone inserted in your veins and now it was spreading in your whole body.

Fitoor is that deewangi(madness) for which a person can go to any extent. In my life it was this moment when i get a little glimpse of it.

(To nikal lijiye khud ki jaan..)

"So take your own life " i replied quickly looking in his green eyes which were still brightening.

He stared me for some seconds in confusion but as soon realization hit him his brows draw back to straight line.

(Jawab Mila aapko ?)

"Did you get the answer ?" I asked when his lips stopped moving on my ear.

(Bolke bataiye...jubaan ladane m to peeche ni rehti aap.)

"Tell me in words , you never feel short of words when you have to argue with me " he taunted me.

He is not less than neighbour's aunty who are always ready to taunt anyone.

I moved my hand over his cheeks while moving closer to his ear.

(Bhojan aapke liye tha, humara shringar aapke liye tha, hum batana chahte the aapko k Koi pachtava nahi h hume jo humne kal raat Kiya )

"I prepared food for you, i dressed up for you, I wanted to tell you that i dont have any regret of what we done last night " i replied looking in one breath. I don't even know if he understood or not. I don't want him to misunderstood anything.

His grip on my waist get tighten while pulling me towards his chest. I thought his anger will vanished listening this. But no..

He doesn't seem to calm down.

I came close to his lips while he moved his thumb over my lips on bruise which he just created some seconds before..

(Humare liye shringar Kiya tha lekin Hume dekhne Tak nahi diya..us samay hum samazh sakte h aapne Aisa ku Kiya par abhi...vastra kyu badalke aayi )

"You get dressed up from me and you didn't even let me see yourself. I can understand why you did that at that time but now. Why did you change your clothes " he gritted his teeth.

(Krodhit the aapse.. )

"Because I was angry from you" I replied remembering how he told me to stay away from him. I could see his lips curved upward slightly in a smile.

"You have even used Kohl in your eyes " he asked while leaving just an inch in between our lips.

"Because I look more pretty in it " i replied controlling my smirk while coming more close to his lips. It's not that everytime I get the chance to see him irritated.

Just for once

After knowing how I feel for him, I was feeling so many emotions.

I need something to calm my heart.

But he tilted his head while moving his lips on my jaw having sinister look on his face.

(Hume shringar dekhna h aapka...ek bhi chiz rehni ni chahiye....upar se neeche Tak sab vaise ka vaisa hona chahiye..karengi dobara humare liye ? )

"I wanted to see you in shringar.Not even a single thing should be left up. From head to toes everything should be same. Will you do it for me again ?"

I didn't reply while looking down. Don't know why I was feeling that it won't be same when I will dress up again. He knew this time that how I felt now.

(Tab tak aapko kuch ni milega )

"Till than you won't get anything" he completed his sentence with sly grin.

(Tab tak kya Khud ko rok paayenge ?)

"Will you be able to stop yourself ?" I asked moving my hand over his heart. It was fast. Very fast.

He was angry.

Why ?

"Fire, i wanted to give you something today "

I noticed he was looking towards the window behind me. I was going to turn my head to look at him when he held hem of my dupatta while having something not so good on his face.

His lips curved upward in a menacing smirk revealing glimpse of his predatory nature.

"What ?" I asked confused

"Do you trust me ?" His expression suddenly turned to seriousness. I slowly nodded my head in yess.

"You won't be able to stand in your legs tomorrow " he said and removed my dupatta while throwing it in the air and pushed me over the bed and hovering above me with my legs still wrapped around him. Before I could understand something, he moved my lehenga upward . My eyes opened wide realizing what he was doing and a scream left my mouth feeling the pain

"Aahhhhhh..... "

Author pov

Rituraj was standing near the window while his eyes towards the room. There wasn't any single light to reveal what was happening.

They both were covered by her full length dupatta. But he can hear her moaning.

Aahh....Arya...slow...it's hurting...

Damn...it's poking too hard..stop...stop..

Ohhhh...Arya...it is too deep...

He held the door of window tightly.

"Shivanya..." He was thinking of something when his eyes falls to the side where there was one more window

And a lady was standing there holding a plate of some paste in her hand and looking towards the room.

"Advay " she whispered in low voice

"Princess Chandni " rituraj whispered " why is she here ?"

They both looked each other seriously. He saw she was holding a knife in her hand so tightly that her palm starts bleeding.

"Princess your hand "

She looked at her palm while wiping it on her lehenga like it was nothing and both were staring each other with serious expressions.

"It's holi after 2 days...I am practicing to play with colours " she smiled evilly while

On other side...

Shivanya was laying on the bed while advay was still in between her legs. She shut her eyes tightly when she hit one more wave of pain while biting her lips so hard that they were almost going to bleed.

"Aahhhh...I will never forgive you for this " she winced in pain while controlling her tears.

"I told you I will take my revenge " he smirked not affected by any of her screams

"you are not a kid to bite me like that " she pouted . His head was in between her legs while his teeth were digging in her right inner thigh close to her core.

He bit her so suddenly that she couldn't hold her scream. Her other leg was still wrapped on his waist. She felt he will dig out blood from there. She was going to stop him but as soon she saw shadow of a lady near the window in front of her she wasn't able to stop him

"Fire...I love to hold grudges" he smirked

Her eyes rolled when he took out his teeth and replaced it with his tongue while slowling licking the area up and down to soothe the pain. His one hand was rubbing her thighs while squeezing it under his palm.

"Not my thighs...leave them " she was screaming in her mind while moved her fingers over his hair fisting them in her hand.

She felt something dripping down there.
She was feeling glad that there was no light in the room or she will die out of emvarssment.

He was not touching my boobs now. Doesn't he like them anymore ?

Does he trying to become a gentleman now

Laddooos are hurting...

I mean my boobs..

Why am speaking like him ?

Her thoughts were muddled more when she feels His head touched over her panties. His nose touched there...

"No..don't know how I will smell there and what if he came to know I have been hiding there " a thought came in her mind making her eyes opened wide.

Just than she felt his nose her core. Her panties were wet because of which it was stuck on her skin revealing the shape of her skin underneath it. He couldn't see anything but can feel heat radiating on his face from there.

He wanted to bury his face deep inside there but Just than he noticed something shining inside it. His eyes opened wide. She quickly pulled down her skirt while breathing heavily but knows that he has seen it.

"You have a piercing down there " it almost come out as a statement from his mouth.

She closed her legs while covering it properly and was chewing her lips while having a devilish smirk on her face looking at the shocked expressions on his face.

It was her little secret which no one knows about her except taara.

He doesn't know whether it was punishment for her or for himself when he didn't let her kissed him.

This is When obsession meets passion.

Both words are almost same . But the only difference is when you are passionate about someone you still stay in control. You know your limits.

But when that passion turns into obsession, you don't know any boundary . There is no limit which can stop you.

She was not scared of any punishment. There was part in her which was craving for all this. She doesn't know herself but he gets an idea who she is.

She was the master of this game, and he was the one who design it.

A game of dominance, a game of submission. Game to destroy each other.

A game of Ishq.

Ishq h vo ehsaas...Ishq h vo jazbaat
Badal de jo duniya...badal de jo duniya..

Readerlog . Do you know what will happen next ? 😬😬hehe...extra vote..pleashhhhh....

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Spoiler..

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